Issues in "Pluralistic Marriages"

I understand and accept that religion can and does play an important role in many people's lives. However, I refuse to accept the degree to which many people force it to play a role. Lets face the truth, religion is completely subjective and based on nothing more than opinion. When people see problems being caused by religion it is generally because at least a handful of people have made it a problem. The same is true in a (religiously) pluralistic marriage.

Jim Burklo's "Pluralistic Marriage" is interesting and does bring up some important points. It never seems to tackle what I find to be one of the most important points. Conflicts within such mixed marriages are completely unnecessary. As I've already stated, religion is completely opinion based. Marriage is not (not that there aren't differnces of opinion in them). You go to bed and wake up every day with the person you married. Even if you sometimes take things for granted, there are any number of examples of how real your relationship is. Shouldn't the love for your partner trump some theoretical ideas no matter how important those ideas are? You may never "know" that God exists, that there is an after life, or that your chosen faith has any merit. You can know that you have a loving relationship, otherwise why'd you get married in the first place.

Ultimately, I think if religion is what divides you then you have some serious questions to ask yourself. Was your relationship ever that well founded? If faith can divide people who love each other why should it be seen as good in any way? If religion is the wonderful thing that many want to believe it to be shouldn't it encourage love and relationships regardless of socio-cultural differences?

Sad Disturbing View of Love and Faith

It was nice to read how quickly Maren Stephenson responded to her husband's admission that he no longer believed in God by saying, "You are more important to me than the Church." Some of her doubts about that expression are both sad and disturbing. In the end she seems to handle his and her own transition pretty well.

It still is upsetting to think that there are those who have such doubts about the value of love. I won't pretend to understand what either of them went through since I have never had any faith. That said, I find any "church", "religion", or "faith" that actively seeks to diminish the value of love or impede it in any way as truly despicable. We need more love in the world not less. Claiming that love is somehow sinful or wrong only serves to demonstrate the pettiness of that particular version of religion. 

It also seems strange since virtually every aspect of Faith is intangible and therefore unproven. If you love someone there is proof of it all around you. Just the fact that your partner is quite literally right there with you. People can talk about God and religion in anthropomorphic terms but that is all metaphor and symbolism. Even as a believer, you cannot literally hold God's hand. I happily go to bed and wake up next to my wife. Even if I was a believer I find it hard to see how I could view religion as more important.

Any religion that seeks to place itself as being greater than love is not deserving of any respect from believer or non-believer